I Feel Lazy, Oh So Lazy

I feel lazy and lazy and… lazy. Shoot, I’m so lazy, I can’t even think of a word that rhymes with lazy. Wait – hazy. Yeah, I feel kind of hazy.

Tip of the Day:  Free tips for driving from point A aaaaaaaaaall the way to point B this holiday season – from me, to you. Because I’m a giver like that.

Tip for the Weekend:  Um, be lazy? Or, be even lazier than you’ve already been? What, you were expecting me to tell you about all the great post-Christmas sales? Okay, here you go:
There are awesome deals to be had on absolutely everything you could ever want to buy, in every store in the country. If you have any money left in your bank account, after already spending a boat-load on holiday gifts, then have at it. The rest of us will be staying at home, trying to conserve our few remaining pennies, thank you very much.

Further Elucidation of My Cheap Deal:   I’m holed up at my Big Brother’s house in Chicago, slacking about like a slacker and playing with my perfect nephew, Piglet. However, come Monday (no, it WON’T be alright) I have to drive my happy self back home to the TC. And I’d like to arrive there in one piece – as would my Ma, who’s coming with me.

Therefore, I’ve compiled a brief list of how to manage that feat, based on my extensive road trip experience. Doubt my credibility? Oh yeah? Well, I’ve driven to visit some member of my family, all (except for Ma) who live in states not MN, a minimum of 4 times a year for the last 15 years.
That’s a base line of 60 road trips, just to visit relatives. I’m not even including the random voyages to see my friends in Wisconsin, Iowa and beyond. So yes, I think I know what I’m talking about:

Tip One: If at all possible, do all your road tripping in the summer. You’ll have less chance of running into a blizzard or ice storm that way. Web Cam or call during the winter months instead.

Tip Two: If you must travel for the winter holidays, try to drive during the least busy hours, like the middle of the night on Christmas Eve or the booty-crack of dawn on Thanksgiving morning. Less traffic means fewer accidents.
Or, move everyone you know to the South, where the weather is always fine.

Tip Three: If you’re unlucky enough to drive during bad winter weather AND peak travel hours, learn to love a lower speed limit. I’m fond of going fifty miles per hour during a blizzard, myself. Even slower if it’s uber-windy.

Tip Four: If you drive an SUV or truck, don’t be lulled into sense of false complaisancy. Please note that most of the vehicles upside down in the ditch after a storm are the monster-sized ones. Glare ice will make ANY car slide around, regardless of your four-wheel drive, bucky.

Tip Five: Don’t be a jerk in bad weather. Don’t cut people off, don’t tail-gate, don’t drive below 30 miles per hour or over 60; in short, just don’t. If you feel yourself becoming jerky, pull over and have a snack. Low blood sugar makes most people crank-asses.

Tip Six: To avoid the aforementioned jerkiness, not to mention full-on road rage, bring the necessary provisions. You’ll need tasty, fattening snacks, caffeinated beverages, and entertainment. I like my IPod or books on CD, but an entertaining pal or two will also do the trick. Plus, that’s more people to split the gas bill with.

Tip Seven: Bully your friends and family into moving where you live. You’ll never have to road trip again, and think of the money you’ll save.

Question of the Day: Where did you go to celebrate the holidays?