If I Had A Million Dollars…

I’d end up spending it all at Target.

Tip Of The Day:  Target is desperately trying to separate you from your money.  If you’re in the market for one last swimsuit for the season, or stocking up on fall fashions, you’ve got to swing by the Bull’s-eye and see what they’ve got cooking.  Trust me, it smells delicious.

Tip For The Weekend:  If at all possible, avoid the weather.  It’s supposed to be either suffocatingly hot or violently storming in MN this weekend.  Therefore, I recommend curling up inside with a good book and a strong AC unit.  And possibly a Totino’s Party Pizza or two.

Further Elucidation Of My Cheap Deal:  Yesterday, I innocently wandered into Target to pick up some laundry detergent and maybe some earrings.  An hour later, I left with a new bikini – and also, jonesing for half the stuff in the Woman’s/Shoes/Accessories Departments.

The bikini – a Mossimo number on clearance, marked down from $17.99 per piece to a low $8.98 per piece – was not the impulse buy it sounds to be.  I’d been scoping out Target’s suits for weeks (trying them on, seeing what styles I liked the best, cursing my thighs), biding my time until the one I wanted went on sale.

And when it finally ended up on the clearance rack, I snatched it up right quick.  I got a plain black halter top, and a low-rise black/white poke-a-dot bottom.  Cute, age-appropriate, and best of all?  It fits.  No, I’m not including a picture – the Cheap Dude says no bikini shots of me on the Interwebs.  As does my family and all my friends.

Notice my new suit cost under $20?  Even though I can spend more than $20 on things now?  Because I still try to spend less than $20 on everything, except for boots, which have an eerie control over my mind and wallet?  And now I’m going to stop posing everything as a question?

But that bikini wasn’t the only thing I found.  Check these out:

BOOTS!   BIKER BOOTS!  IN REAL LEATHER!  YES, THE SHOUTING IS NECESSARY!  These come in dark tan at the store, and also in black leather online.  However, they are $49.99, and I need another pair of boots like a hole in the head.  Actually, at this point, trepanation might be necessary, in order to drain out my boot addiction from my noggin.

Here’s another pair of boots I don’t need, but are so Steampunk fabulous, I had to share them with the group:

These are just $29.99, but I haven’t found them in the store yet.  You’ll have to order them online – and to avoid paying for shipping, you should buy this skirt to get your total closer to $50 (the magic number at which Target stops charging for shipping):

The skirt is a mere $17.99 from Merona’s Slimming Solutions line.  Get the skirt, and the Slimming Pants for $19.99, and maybe a shiny bauble or two, and you won’t pay a thing for shipping.

Target also has their Mossimo Boyfriend Pocket T-shirts on sale for $6 a piece, and all their summer shoes on uber-clearance.  Ah, clearance prices – aka Reason Eleventy Bazillion Why I’m Addicted To Target.