For those of you not in the know, my real (aka non-bloggy) name is Erin. Hi! How are you? No, my mother did NOT name me The Cheap Chick, as it turns out.
Anyhoo, I have many unproven, but self-evident propositions when it comes to the theory of dresses. Much like Sal McGraw’s Makes You Want To Have Sex With Yourself Rule, aka The Greatest Shopping Rule Ever Writ. However, my Axiom requires a wee bit more detail. Let’s read on, shall we?
1. Everytime you go shopping in a store that contains clothing, look at the dresses. You should always be on the lookout for cute, affordable dresses. Running through Target for toilet paper? Swinging by Kohl’s for tidy whiteys? Meandering about Macy’s for a wedding gift to give that cousin you don’t really like? All these are opportunities to stop by the dress department and browse.
Arguement: But Cheap Chick, I don’t have time to look at dresses everytime I shop.
Answer: A. Then your life is too busy and you need to simplify. And B. You’ve got time to check out the clearance rack, at least. Every store has a sales rack containing dresses. Locate your size and see what’s available – which should take you less than 30 minutes, tops. For example, in a mere 15 minutes at Savers in Bloomington, I found this dress for $12.99:
Pictured above: Merona cotton dress with button details. Boots are Circa Joan & David from 6 years ago, proving that quality leather boots will last you many, many, many seasons. Plus? They were on sale.
I also found this dress, located next to the one pictured above, on the discard rack by the changing rooms. NOTE: Always, ALWAYS check the discard racks at thrift stores. I find all my best stuff there.
Pictured above: My Michelle dress for $12.99. I plan to wear this tomorrow on air. And then everyday thereafter. SO. MUCH. CUTENESS.
Here’s a close up of the badass print. Not only is this dress flattering, it’s super-comfy. Like jammies disguised as a dress.
2. Before you buy, try the dress(es) on. No. No you can NOT determine if something fits you just by looking at it. Peeps, you deserve to spend 10 minutes trying on clothing to see if it fits and flatters.
3. If the dress does fit, if you look hot in it, and if it is ridiculously inexpensive, buy it. Even if you don’t have an occasion to wear it? Buy it. For example, I don’t have a wedding or cocktail party coming up. Nor is there a cruise, fancy dinner party, evening at the theater, or even a hot date in my immediate future. So I didn’t have a reason to buy this dress two weeks ago at JC Penney’s:
Pictured above: Purple party dress, on sale 65% off for $35. I walked by it on a Clearance rack at Penney’s, when I was looking for flyaway cardigans in the Juniors department.
Beading! Sequins! Flattering shape! And I can wear it with a bra! PERFECT.
Trust me on this: It is easier to find an occasion to match the dress, than a dress to match an occasion.
4. If one dress comes in, one dress must go out. This is true of most of my closet – if I shop, I also have to donate/consign/give to a friend. With these three new dresses coming in, I had to weed out three dresses from my closet. So I’m saying good-bye to my red dancing dress (much like Fancy), my Merona dress that’s similar to the one I just bought but is one size too big, and a faux-Target dress that can go to a new home.
Now then. Sally forth and prove my axiom. Or at least, buy yourself a pretty dress already.